..it really wasnt bottom just yet.I thought I had come around to moving on completely, and had learnt to appreciate life at its core.. but I guess not. My crying had become consistent - Foetal position - I tried so hard to keep these ill feelings to myself, to stay strong and keep at my feet, in hope that they'll just dissipitate in time. But today I became this horrible person. Subconciously I was utterly selfish and immaturely seeking attention in all the wrong ways. It wasnt until mum hit me pretty damn hard (no, not literally lol) that I realised it, which then changed my perspective completely. I'm not only hurting myself, but my family.
Ï thought to myself: Since He is full of everlasting mercy and kindness, if He can take away something so important to me, who am I to think he cannot replace it with something greater, right? So here's my share of sacrifice, and here I'll be tested true faith and capability. I need to be strong. After all, this is nothing compared to what most people in this world are suffering. I am truly fortunate, thank God.
So now, daily devotional prayers I will hold. In the past, my devotional prayers would be for something I want/need ahead of me/for my future, for guidance etc. It's different now. I know He will be true to his promise of a bright future. These prayers I'll be holding, though, are for right now. That is for patience, strength to pull through, also to be more appreciative of everything I have, and for faith.
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